Thursday, June 2, 2016

Economics

I'm better than this, you say.
     Brilliant
     Determined
     Beautiful
    (Deserving)
That's fine -

Thoughts like that are a luxury
(because there is risk in chasing a better life)
that I can only believe when I have some breathing room.

Some distance from obligations like
     Rent
     Hunger
     My son
    (His father)
Or in your arms.

The problem with boys with money is that,
when they love you,
there is a mania that makes us look beyond our limits.

That glimpse into middle-class possibility -
     A full stomach
     New clothes
     A vacation
    (Freedom)
Gone as soon as they are.

You make me high, or maybe it is the air up there
so far above my place
that you breathe into my lungs after you kiss me.

My medication warns me about
     excessive happiness
     racing thoughts
     reckless behavior
    (unusually grand ideas)
And I am calling my doctor

Because
how can I tell what is a mania-fueled delusion
and what is my use-value?




1 comment:

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